I read this article yesterday about a mother who hates the fact that her ex husband's new partner 'parents' her child and couldn't believe it.
Seriously, this woman is miffed because her children's stepmother:
- put suncream on her kid
- bought her a sunhat
- combed through her hair to make sure nits were gone
- comforted her in the middle of the night when she was scared
As a stepmum myself I can't believe her attitude! Surely she should be happy that someone is looking after her bloody kids? Because I'm sure she'd be the first to moan if they came home miserable (although maybe that would make her feel more secure as a mother, knowing no-one else could do as good a job as her?).
Being a stepmum is bloody difficult - you're constantly treading that fine line between mother and friend, you're close enough to the kids to care but actually have no say in most things, and let's be honest, having someone else's kids in your house every other weekend isn't as easy as it sounds.
Different rules, different expectations, diffrent manners - when the stepkids turn up it can sometimes seem as if everything has gone to pot and you're the one who has to sort it all out. Then you read something like this article and wonder why you bother.
I'm lucky in a way - the mother of my stepkids lets me and my partner get on with it and doesn't really question what goes on in our house, but I'll tell you something - if she ever phones up to 'put me in my place' because I comforted her kids in the middle of the night, she'll get short shrift from me!
I'm a step mum to a teen and whilst he is under our roof (4 nights a week, including weekends) we will do as we see fit in terms of bringing him up.
ReplyDeleteThe ultimate decision maker is his Dad but all I will ever do is love him as if he were my own and believe that he should have a healthy relationship with his mum. I will never take her place and I agree it is a fine line between friend and mother figure but if you have chosen to separate you have to accept that someone else may come into your childs life who will grow to love your child as their own.
Best example is the Peter Andre/Dwight Yorke story. I don't know how Dwight Yorke has the cheek to have a go at Peter after all he has done for Harvey when Dwight decided to not have anything to do with him and all peter is guilty of is loving that child unconditionally.
Some people just baffle me!
I have to mediate between my stepdaughter and her stepmum all the time, and whilst part of me is relieved they are having difficulties (it's not just me, woo hoo kind of relief) it also makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteStella has known Jessica since she was 2 years old, and there is no reason that they shouldnt get on, but my word they are at each others throats all the time. I do wish she would stop telling Jess who is a size 10 that she is too fat though.
You would think they were mother and daughter the way they carry on.